Lost for no cause....

I wish I could do the same for my work.

You will appreciate my sentiments if u've ever got a 1000+

pages scrap (sorry documentations) to chew, digest and

litter a stack of fine grained expert opinion & work estimate for it

within an eternity of 5 days?

calvin on loopholes

How vs. Why

There is a prevalent belief that what a person needs to accomplish a goal is the knowledge of how. If they possess the knowledge of how to make and fly a kite, then they can go out and build, then fly, a kite. However, it is not always so simple. Consider this...

How many of us wish that we were in better shape? How many of us actually are?
- Nearly everyone has some aspect of fitness that they wish to improve; lose weight, exercise more, build muscle, or whatever.
- Nearly everyone possesses the knowledge of how to eat and exercise to accomplish these goals.

So knowledge plus desire does not equal results. There must be something else out there that prevents us from employing this knowledge. What is that? How do we discover it? How do we eliminate it as an obstacle to employing the knowledge that we have of how to achieve our goals?

Now consider this : our taking action on the knowledge that we have so that we can obtain the desired outcome involves a mental calculation that we probably don’t even know we are making. In that calculation, we evaluate what something will “cost” us in some way vs. the benefit we can expect from it and then we decide whether to take the action or not. The “software” for making this calculation runs deep in the background processes of our mind. We are no more aware of this calculation in most cases than we are aware of our breathing or our heartbeat.

So if it's not working for you inspite of having the desire and knowledge, then we have to bring this calculation into our consciousness, examine it, see why the calculation is coming out to a “no” decision, then see if there are variables that we can alter in order to get to a “yes” decision. Better yet, we may even decide that “no” is the right decision and discard our desire for that thing. Either way, we have aligned our desired outcome with the actions we are taking.

Sounds simple. But, not so fast! It turns out there is another issue that occurs when we start examining this cost/benefit computation: there are variables at work that we have trouble recognizing. Hidden variables such as: looking good, feeling safe, being accepted by others, alignment with the past meanings....well you got to find your own.

-author unknown (edited)

2 pennies

I happen to visit VFS office in pune to submit my friend's visa application. My second attempt, 'coz yesterday US was celeberating Martin Luther King birthday. A big queue on the ground floor & even bigger at the entry door. Everyone well dressed and behaving their best. Guys coming out of mercedes & standing in line, sharing the wrath of sun with a smile. So many dreams awaiting their turns in a queue which even got stretched to block the parking lot. Never saw a guard being treated like an angel before. Overall it was quite amusing to see the socialism guarding the doorway of capitalism.

Everything else on my part went fine, except that my bike was picked up by cops for parking at a wrong spot. I ended up paying 150 Rs fine which was okay considering my mistake, but when I asked for the receipt they came with the finest of excuse that i'll have to wait till the guy with the receipt book come back from his round. Like yet another sincere but indifferent citizen and justifying it with my inability to spare time for the seemingly endless wait, I silently handed over the money and walked out with my bike. Am I feeling bad about it....I dunno.

Quarter life crisis

Being twenty something, the 'Quarter life crisis' as it is called, hit upon those quite often who have settled in their career, unlucky or indifferent to love & for no good reasons haven't yet settled in life. But these are just the qualifying essentials. What really makes it a crisis is their confused state of mind. The real syndrome I guess is their lack of reasons to conform to the society norms, and void of the meanings to live a life of their own.

If you are eligble and want to know whether you qualify or not...for being a victim of this age block, just check if you find yourself more in agreement than declines over these symptoms -

• The friends without whom you couldn't afford to dwell in your future have started acting like strangers as if the episode of your life with 'em is over.
• The big dreams & the never ending spirit with which you started your career is gone.
• Out of a minute long scroll of online friends in your msg list, not even a single one tempts you for a buzz or a smiley. Same goes with your phone book.
• The million dollar question pops up in every other conversation. 'So, when are you getting married'
• You look at couples who seem happy, and wonder if you are late in joining the elite race. And once a while if you see or hear 'em getting bored or fight, you smile and tell yourself that may be you are right.
• Your options to loan for a flat, car & plan for a settled life overweigh your quest to explore the unknown in life..but just for a while, and then they change the sides in your thinking ground like the pendulum of your choice clock.
• The spirit to organize a meet, a trek, a disc or a Jagjeet Singh night fades away with time, 'coz the ones you want to plan it with, either would be busy or would come along with someone.
• You stop thinking over what should, and start wondering over what will...tomorrow hold for you .
• Last but not the least, you find blogging a creative way to kill time & justify your status over the weekends.

Undoubtely I fall in the same class with the exception that I seem to be enjoying it...though without knowing the reasons why. May be, there is a better side to it. The way I see it, is not entirely as a crisis rather to an extent as an opportunity. The opportunity to live in a space, where I can dwell, explore & embrace my own meanings in life. The time to compose & fill the void with humming of my own song, to conceive & paint the canvas with shades of my own colors. At the end of it, it doesn't matter if it turns out to be a road less travelled or the same one everyone else seems to be walking. What matters is whether its your choice or you are just following, and I bet the walk will never be the same.

A wish for each day...

Mornings bliss

Mornings are blissful...

• when I go on the terrace and feel the breeze.
• when the sun rises from nowhere & gulps the desserted horizon across the hill.
• when the sky changes the shades more than my eyes could absorb.
• when the people on the hill next to my house are belittled by their own shadows.
• when I see silence of dusk turning into the chirping of birds.
• when the cable wires over my rooftop hold the dews like a diamond & let 'em go in the silence.
• when I smell the ginger while sipping from my tea.
• when I forgot the meanings, rest of the day I'll have to live.
• when the moment freezes and I don't exist.
• when I am void of wishes and I just live.
  
  ...then the thoughts interrupt me, convince me to be rational being and I start my day.

German chitchat

Wie gehts! (How'z you!)

My mornings apart from routine sunrise & ginger tea now-a-days include a rush hour to german classes. No no..don't get me wrong.. ich liebe keine german fraulin, aber ich mag meinen Lehrer für ihre unterrichtende Art. (go figure it out urself). Anyway some of the interesting observations I can recall so far

-jo la la - sounds like an expression of joy...on the contrary it means you are doin pathetic, only that you don't want to admit it.
-dick means thick and not anything else.
-like most of other frage(Questions) 'darf ich herin kommnen' (may i come in) can't be followed by 'Sie'.. and I can't even explain it to you.
-As if maskulin and feminine weren't enough in genders, there is a neutrum...and if u act like a kind (child) u can't be placed in tht category. And the moment u think u r getting it right, u do the blunder with articles to switch the genders.
- Chef is not a cook but ur boss.
- You don't do partiality between ur girlfriend (freundin) and a friend who happens to be a girl (freundin)
- you can boast abt being addressed loyally 'Herr Ober' even if u work as a waiter.

more to follow...if I survive the test tomorrow.

Jal ki Abhilasha

We're at doodhsagar fall on our way to Kuveshi camp. While looking at the stream Ajay asked me ..'Just like pushp ki abhilasha....what could it mean for this flowing water'...and I couldn't stop thinking about it in this way.

chah nahin tarantalon me
bichh pyari ko lalchaon.
chah nahin subala ke angon ko chhuon
aur bhagya pe idhlaon.
chah nahin filter hoken
bisleri ki bottles me bhara jaon.

ek chhoti si hai abhilasha
ki uthu pawan ke sang udu.
phir banke badal barsoon dhara pe
indhardhanush ke rang bharoon.
barsoon khet khalihaaon me
fasloon me naya jeevan laon.
pyase thakit drigon me jhalkoon
khushion ka sa neer bahaon.

aur ant samay jab aayen jalmaali
uss path pe tum dena mod.
swachand nirantar bahkar miloon mai
nadiyon se sagar ki aur!!