A World of Silence

After a long wishful thinking and considerable efforts, finally I was able to time myself for vipasana. When I heard about it for the first time, I was simply fascinated by the idea of spending 10 full days in a perfect silence and the experience of something beyond mind by keeping aside the language. The manifestation of the fact that the world around us is nothing but a creation of our own language and that it exists nowhere but only in our minds. It's like for a fish, getting an experience of water outside the water.

Anyway, I better tell you how it went. After an initial struggle I became in harmony with the daily routine there. The place was perfect. Nature was at its best. I even saw a brown rabbit in the vicinity of campus playing fearlessly. There were people from all over the places but non-existing for me. I even couldn't ask my roommate whether he wanted the lights on at night or not. When on the 10th day we broke our silence, there're hardly words coming out of everyone's mouth and we literally stood there laughing at each other. We laughed like mad remembering all the occasions when we wanted desparately to tell something to each other but had to avoid. One thing more I thoroughly enjoyed was the simplest of the food served to us, may be because it was served in limited amount and more 'coz there was nothing else to do while eating.

Coming to learnings, there were a lot. Its like getting a glimpse of the balance while learning to ride a bicycle for the first time. You cann't communicate it except reflecting it through your confidence of having a control and experiencing something you didn't know exist for you earlier. Those who wants a sincere break in life and believe in a world beyond mind, definitely a place to go...

Joe Satriani live @ mumbai

Joe Satriani was in amchi mumbai last friday and he rocked it in style with a capital R!! I was the last minute pile up with Krishna and Mak. Thx to Ruzan for opting out. We stood in queue almost an hour before and managed to get in the 4th row. Actually after the front row, every place was same. He came on stage in the black shades around at 7.00 with his guitaar and only stopped at 10.00 pm after 3 hours of continuous rock, blues and whatever the hell he does with his guitar. It felt like the guy makes love to his guitar. This is what Mak has to say about the show:

It was a nite to remember ... to cherish ...
The GOD himself had come down to the MMRDA grnds Bandra mumbai ... to enthrall His mortal audience with a music which the blind could see ... the deaf could hear ... music which could pump life into a corpse ... The 8000 strong crowd waited patiently for 2 hours before the schedule just not to miss a single "see", a single "hear" from the cool goggle clad, shaved head GOD.
The show started with "Up In the Sky". The ticket money that we paid ... got over on this very song ... and O' boy who knew that there were 19 more tracks to come .... Then came the cooolest song .... my favourite ... cool as a breeze, COOL # 9. By the time He played "Flying in a blue dream", we were already out of this world ... in the GOD's durbar ... "the heaven" :)
This is the divine creature who has professionally taught "Metallica", "GnR", Steve Vai ... and the like ... who themselves are considered to be the Gods of music !!! The other songs that we had the extereme privilege to listen were - "Is there love in space", "Starry night", "The Mountain song".
And last but not the least ... the penultimate one - "morrocan sunset" followed by the laaast "Psycho monkey" !!! What a show it waaaas !!! killing performance ... No wonder they had scores of ambulances lined up outside the stage ... :D
But was that the End ???????????? NOOOOOOOO WAAAY !!!!!!!!!! the worshippers wouldnt just let the GOD leave like that !!! The worshippers kept chanting "more" "more" .... Their penance was answered ... and the GOD reappeard !!!
So, finally ... last but not the least .... the penultimate one ... again my fav - "Surfing with an alien". Phew !!!!!!!!!! what energy ... equivalent to a 1000 atom bombs exploding inside of u !!! And the last song ... "Friends" left us gasping for more !!! That brought to an end, a show which I would rate the best till now ... A show the memoirs of which would last for 7 of my lives ... A show for which I have already sinned by putting it into words ...

Mak did recording of almost all his songs with his friend's camera. I also managed to take some cool pictures heading my camera over the dancing shoulders. Mak was rocking like someone in true love with Joe, and so was the girl standing adjacent to him. She got so impressed with Mak or may be with his camera that she gave her phone number and asked him to be in touch. So if mak is not in office during weekends, you a reason to doubt. And if someone needs the phone number, Mak stored it in my cell phone :)

After the concert we went to Mocha...a nice joint with some cool sitting arrangement. The best part was the flavoured tobbacco less hukka which we enjoyed with a competition of who makes the perfect smoke rings.

Something to Cherish...

It was a pleasant surprise to do a search of my name in google when I encountered this link...

http://www.freshpatents.com/Mangal-Sain-NewDelhi-invdirs.php

Atleast now I have an identity on world wide web. Cheers!!!

Now or Never

"Life is what happens to you, when you are busy making plans for your future"
What a profound statement! So simple yet captures the whole intricate fact of life. This is how my life is going on. So I started wondering exactly how much time in my day to day routine I actually live in now, and do I cherish those moments.
The later part was easy to answer. Absolutely!! Former is hard to recall... May be a little bit in the morning hours, when I stand at my patio to greet the sun and smell the air, before the mind catches up with what all things to worry about for today. May be when the fragrance of ginger comes out of the morning tea and passes through my nostril admist of rain droplets. May be when someone on the way greets me with a smile, or when in our mill creek I see ducks stretching out their wings under sun and jumping in water at a gentle noise. Or after an exhausting workout, when i simply lie down and catches up with my breath. At work, when I am actually working instead of thinking or discussing about working. On my way home, when its dark pitch and I am driving on an empty road and humming a song not bothering about who is listening to it. A couple of similar times here and there.
Except for these moments I see my mind constantly working like a cluster of hyperthreaded servers with much advanced page ranking algo than google and fastest cache retrieval and memory storage system..Even while i am writing this, I can see my mind searching for right words, rephrasing the contents to make it more presentable for someones reading in future.
And then I wonder...."What is life full of cares, if we have no time to stand and stare"

Atlast...

Back to my college days, I still remember my friends who were envious of seeing me in a relaxed mood during exams, making an earnest wish to God for granting me atleast one supply (backlog). As there is an old saying in Hindi 'Bhagwan ke ghar me der hai, andher nahin', finally it came true for me also. And not only once. It happened when I went here in US for 'behind-the-wheel' test for my driving license.
First time when I went there, I had no clue of what was expected out of me. It was sheer enthusiasm that drove me there along with Sumi. The system here is very organized and within minutes I was in queue sitting alone in car waiting for my turn to come. It was the same kind of experience as someone must have felt while going to the consulate for the visa stamping. Like, 'Oh God, let me get a liberal examiner who hasn't started the day with a quarrel at home' ! I was greeted by a fat lady, who didn't bother to acknowledge my pretended smile. It was clear that I am not going to get any bonus for a P.R, so I straightened my curves. No wonder, I ended up with a mistake in an attempt to impress her with my overcautious drive ( I slowed down and did a shoulder lookup for right turn while the signal was green.)
This is how I got my first supply of my life. I consoled myself that atleast its going to make some people happy and will reaffirm their faith in God. May be kar or schn might throw a party too. And much to their delight, I repeated the same story in my 2nd attempt too with the only difference that this time I did the reverse mistake at the same right turn.(I didn't make a full stop at red signal for the right turn).
And finally, I made my last attempt with little hopes. This time atleast I was confident not to repeat the same mistakes. The time since the examiner entered the car till she asked me to park it, I was kinda robot just following her instructions. When she started counting the circles on my evaluation sheet, my heart beats were loud and clear. 12, 13, 14..and so I am not gonna make it this time also. But like a good hindi movie end the counting stopped at the last savior point...and here I was finally with a P on my sheet and big curve back on my face.
Guys, system in India is definitely much more advanced and sophisticated for these things. I got my licence at home without need to do anything :) Anyway for those of who are unlucky like me in their earlier attempts, here are my 2 cents - 'Go for the next attempt' .

Fundas@DCH

I found this an interesting fwd talking about the learnings from movie 'Dil Chahta hai'. Personally I liked this movie a lot and agree with all of these...

*Freaking out and enjoying life doesn't need drugs or cigarettes.

*There are relationships apart from bf/gf, marriage, siblings, friendship or Sex that can be very emotional and true. which is beyond the understanding of many people.

*And yeah even though u may be the best of friends there is always a limit which shud never never be crossed. Then it starts hurting...

*Improving ur imperfections after you realize it, always take some time.

*You always don't need to show or prove your gf how much u love or care about her, which can sound very boring and finally u r dumped.

*Believe in Love, true love will never let you down.

*Never be ashamed to go back to your old friends,friends are there to understand your mistakes.

*Whenever you need your friend , remember that he is just a phone call away... distances can't separate friends

*What a woman wants in life is some one who can make her smile. Be true in all your relationships, be it friend, wife, or a stranger.

*In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

*It's the friends you can call up at 4 A. M. that matter.

*The only unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.

*Happiness is an attitude. If you are used to being unhappy, even in the best of situations you'll still grumble and be unhappy. Nothing can make you happy in the world.

*The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with - never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Memorable Moments

I have experienced it at times, and these are some of my memorable moments of life. The moments when the mind stops playing havoc and dances in tune with the heart. The moments where the rationale of things are gone, and all that left is a zest to do the things and the submission to its course. The moments when the thoughts stop, and the spirits begin. The moments when the existence of self ceases and the experience with the life conceives. This is what I term as love and the energy that goes with the life. Here are some of those moments from my treasure of memories that you may cherish...

- To listen to my favorite song in the FM while waking up in the morning.
- To have a ginger tea with samosas on a rainy day.
- To get a head massage from my sis at the cost of her scoldings.
- To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep a couple of hours
when I was having exams in the Morning.
- To start studying just couple of nights before exams hoping to get passing
marks and getting unexpected results.
- To pass a while with my best friends when time is not permitting us to do
so.
- To see an old friend again and to feel that the things didn't change.
- To see both sun and moon together and clouds in between them just next to
my plane window.
- To look at an evening with all its beautiful colors on a sea beach.
- To find mails by the hundreds after returning from a vacation.
- To say something that doesn't mean anything at the moment and later on
discover a special meaning to that.
- To hear a song that makes me remember someone special.
- To know that a 50%(from my side) crush can turn into 51%.
- To wait for audience to stop applauding so that I can continue my talk.
- To take 3 semester exams of MBA in a row without any preparations
beforehand.
- To see the expressions of the prometric centre incharge when he looked at
my scea result card.
- To watch one of the old movies (Anand, Golmal, Bawarchi..) and recall how
innocently I used to get inspired from them in my childhood.
- A close conversation with a good friend while taking a stroll, while
sipping a coeffee.
....the list goes on.

Those who happen to read this, I'll be glad to know some of yours...

Random

This seemingly was a long break and part of which I can blame to my hectic schedule. The good thing is that I am enjoying the work. Finally I got a car...a jet black camery. A simple, just another car in US, but a dashing luxary in India. I bought it 'coz it was another deal not meant to be missed. So my cycle is giving me a deserted look now-a-days with brakes screeching and pedals demanding a harder push. Or may be its just my perception that's woving a fine excuse to get away with it without bearing a guilt of abondoning it. May be I should think of exchanging it as a white elephant gift in some christmas party. This week office was having a holiday mood with people dropping in to exchange gifts. I myself got couple of them. I just got a call from home. Delhi is so cold now-a-days. Here the weather is as nice as it could be in Pune. Days are short but warm, and its pleasant to take a walk along the riverside in the sun. We have also started playing a lot of criket these days in our tennis court. But I still miss badi sometimes.

In Quest

In the design docs and java codes
in the meeting minutes and discussion notes
i search for an existence
each morning in the office
my eyes scan the inbox
filter builds and fwd trails
searching for the 'hello' mails
each evening i take a walk
with no one but myself to talk
each night at home
my msg goes online
to wait for a buzz to happen
to see a popup with smile
this is the way I spend a day,
and the life moves on
in quest of something
that I am yet to know.

Murphy's laws

Malgudi Days

Sunday I watched Hyd Blues 2. A good movie worth your time and money, if you liked p1. I also happened to read some of the short stories from Malgudi Days. The astrologer, The pickpocketer, Lawre Karzen Statue, and The postman all depicting life and bringing out the emotions so beautifully that you feel a part of it. This also reminds me of the old time, when we used to wake up till night (9 pm) just to watch these serials. Nukad, Ye jo hai jindgi, Hum Log, Malgudi Days, Vyomkesh Bakshi, Mr Yogi, Mungeri Lal....were some of my favourite serials, which I never could afford to miss even during my exams. The craze for saturday movie was altogether different in those days and we used to make guess the whole week for the movie. And if it's anyone of Amitabh's, it was a jackpot. Some of you might remember that in old election days, during couting phase they used to show movies late night and in between used to announce the results. That time was best. Mr. and Mrs 55, Sahab biwi aur Gulam, Shaukeen are some of moviesI remember seeing in that time. And the sunday serials. The whole day full of play and serials from 8.30 (He-Man) till 5.30(Spider-Man) and followed by a movie was the best holiday time I think I used to have. I still have fun watching good movies. I don't know why, but that time it was a different fun.

Land of Abundance

It's been over a month and the box of almond cookies is still half full inspite of offering graciously to every guest at home.

My roomy has a simple philosphy on this matter, "Trash-can is a better place than stomach for all such rich fat stuff". He just needs to know that none of us wants it and you are assured to find it at the right place. He's infact one step ahead. Other day, he didn't let me buy kesar rasgullas 'coz he likes it to the extent of denying his own philosphy :(  If you wonder why cookies are safe so far, there is some egg content in them and he's a pure herbivore.

 

But there is more to it...

I got another laptop, not 'coz I needed it; but 'coz it was a deal not meant to be missed.

I had to buy a pack of 5 toothbrushes, simply because they won't let me tear the pack to just pick one.

If we have to take refuge at our home, for next 2 years we can keep our hands, teeth and toilet clean.

Perhaps people plan for a home team for soccer, or these stores want them to.

 

Welcome to the land of abundance. I wish I were in India with this abundance.

Bachelor's dilemma

I am at this junction of life where I am forced to face it. Almost every second talk about me questions my right to remain a bachelor, including the talks I indulge with myself. These are some of the interesting facts I found might be causing the stir.

Reasons why people want me to get married -
Married friends - You cann't be happy alone. And we don't want you to be happy alone. Whichever way you like.
Unmarried friends - If you survive, we'll think.
Mom - So that when she stays with me, she won't have to worry about taking care of me.
Dad - Time for encashment. High depreciation. Sooner the better.
Sisters - They will have someone to talk to about me.
Brother - Side please!
GFs - Thank God! Now I can move on without feeling guilty conscious.
Others - Do we have anything else interesting to talk about you?

Reasons why I am a bachelor yet -
Employment opportunities will have to bear a location constraint or a transfer overhead.
I'll miss the fun of all those big excursions where she is willing to join me.
I'll have to think twice before cooking khichdi with someone else in our overnight expeditions.
If my in-laws are nearby, I'll have to visit them frequently. If they are far, she won't visit them frequently.
While taking a stroll at F.C. road, the topic of coversation will change to cars and home loans.
I'll have to check my bank balance before taking a break.
I'll have to start appreciating the cover not the content (dress, not the girls).
I'll lose the liberty to chose, once I exercise it.
Everyone wants to do it in his own way, not in my way.
No one has said 'Yes' to me yet.
..and finally a little hope -
I overheard a father saying to his beautiful daughter, "If you don't follow what I ask you to do, I'll marry you with a dumb and duffer guy".
I hope the girl is not obedient.

Halloween

Morning, I saw William in office dressed up like a surgeon, looking for an opr theatre and that reminds me it's Halloween today. I still remember William dressed up like Charie Chaplin smiling behind his half cut moustaches while trying to walk zigzag. That was the best costume of 2002 party and Sam getting best scaryman award not 'coz of his mask but his face. But this time not too many enthusiastic. Only a couple of surgeons cleaning the cakes after their kills, a plumber and a fairy. No witches or horror man like Daisy or Scott this time. And top of that, I forgot to bring my camera :( Nevertheless, the party was amazing and so were the candies. But I would have loved more to be in pune off at our traditional day event. Yesterday it was Poo b'd and she got a big surprise party at her place and I missed that too, and Sarang's and now this PEB trek and then Diwali. Sometimes I question, if it's worth missing all that fun.

AASMAAN (Hindi Poem)

TV sent me this beautiful poem from one of his collection. I am sure, this is one of the reason he's at microsoft. Anyway..enjoy it. Hope I get to hear more often from him.

aasmaan jhukta nahin
khaDa rahta hai apni jagah
aDig, achal aur sthir
maano sabhi mushkilon aur baadhaaon ko,
sabhi aapdaaon ko,
muh chida raha ho....

aisa nahi, ki ye musibaton se parey hai
amaavas, is par bhi aati hai
har shaam, iska bhi suraj Dubta hai
taare, iske bhi TuTte hain
rang, iske bhi Dubte hain....

lekin, fir bhi,
ye sabhi rangon ko
apne andar samaa leta hai
aur har subah, bhor ki lalimaa me
aur bhi sajeev ho uthta hai
use apne andar ramaa leta hai....

sochta hun aisa aasmaan
bhale thoda hi sahi
mai apne andar bhi sanjoye hue hun
kahin na kahin chupaaye baitha hun
jise mai DhunDta rahata hun
nirantar, aviraam....

----------------------------------

Coeffee Talks

After satsang, Anl and Sandy and me decided to make a coeffee stop @ Italia. Nice spot, in the middle of University Avenue with most of the crowd from Standford, typically a serendipity place of hollywood movies where Harry and Sally usually meet. Nothing like this happened to us, but the cappuccino was good. While we're sipping our coeffee, sandy started doing calculation of their business profits. And then our attention went to this cute, little baby who was busy picking up coeffee bags from the counter nearby, making a welcoming interrupt at the tables and offering it graciously to others. There was a complaining sign in his innocent eyes when sandy refused to take it. It was a guilt no one could afford to live with. So the packet was on our table the next moment. I was sure, if it was me I would have got a finger or a slap with those f* words. Just because I don't reflect the same innocence in my actions; or may be they cann't figure out the meaning behind it. For a child, it's always an excuse 'coz he doesn't have a meaning for his actions in our contexts and that's what we call innocence. Anway I am one among those and I like it.
Life doesn't need to mean something. All it needs is to be.

Breaking day

The promise to go to gym was postponed for another tomorrow just because I got up late (as usual). The fire alarm yelled at me just 'coz I liked a hot shower today. Left the laundry last night, so the wrinkles were wooing with my clothes. An important document got filed in lost list. This is how my day started.

But there is more to it. Outlook wasn't up till lunch time. Desk phone was dead with an important voice mail sitting in it. Build is broken since last night. The little consolation I found so far were in the crisp of Scott's home made cookies. Still not in mood to work. Weather is good, its started getting cold here. May be I'll just sit and do some thinking work today. Btw I watched 'Die Hard 3' yesterday, and liked the game puzzles Simon was throwing at Macklane and the Smartian guy. May be if I get some free time, I'll post them here.

Aish

  

Raining...

It's raining since morning, or should I say since last night. San Jose and rain, a rare combination. I got my my jacket and jeans muddy but cycling was fun anyway. I am missing the tapri chai and bhajia. Listening to "Mai koi aisa geet gaon, ki aarzoo jagaaon - agar tum kahon"

Pleasure and Pain

Wondering in the dusk hour
should I go or grapes are sour
all prepared still scared

I want this to happen for a long time
the thought is alluring me like an old wine
so here I am standing in front of the room
finally decided to make my move

slooooooooooowly I open the door
and walk in without making a row
no one there, besides me and she
I put on some music to ease the situation
and take out my sweater in anticipation..

I know it's time now,
We start off slow
Feeling good We pick up speed
Our bodies move in perfect symmetry
My temperature rising,
My heart begins to beat rapidly
My pulse starts to race
Feeling lightheaded
My muscles burn

There’s no stopping now.

Sweat glistening on my aching body
Steady motion of my limbs
Deep breaths
carry on till the music last
or better till the body blasts

Finally finished, a deep sigh.
Motionless, Eyes closed.
Exhausted, Satisfied.

I abolish the signs,
drops of me lying on her
we both stand in silence
I put on my sweater.
Without uttering a word
I walk out of the room

- A close encounter of pleasure and pain. This was when I went to run on 'The Treadmill' in Mansion Groove Gym. BTW I like the way you think :)