Murphy's laws

Malgudi Days

Sunday I watched Hyd Blues 2. A good movie worth your time and money, if you liked p1. I also happened to read some of the short stories from Malgudi Days. The astrologer, The pickpocketer, Lawre Karzen Statue, and The postman all depicting life and bringing out the emotions so beautifully that you feel a part of it. This also reminds me of the old time, when we used to wake up till night (9 pm) just to watch these serials. Nukad, Ye jo hai jindgi, Hum Log, Malgudi Days, Vyomkesh Bakshi, Mr Yogi, Mungeri Lal....were some of my favourite serials, which I never could afford to miss even during my exams. The craze for saturday movie was altogether different in those days and we used to make guess the whole week for the movie. And if it's anyone of Amitabh's, it was a jackpot. Some of you might remember that in old election days, during couting phase they used to show movies late night and in between used to announce the results. That time was best. Mr. and Mrs 55, Sahab biwi aur Gulam, Shaukeen are some of moviesI remember seeing in that time. And the sunday serials. The whole day full of play and serials from 8.30 (He-Man) till 5.30(Spider-Man) and followed by a movie was the best holiday time I think I used to have. I still have fun watching good movies. I don't know why, but that time it was a different fun.

Land of Abundance

It's been over a month and the box of almond cookies is still half full inspite of offering graciously to every guest at home.

My roomy has a simple philosphy on this matter, "Trash-can is a better place than stomach for all such rich fat stuff". He just needs to know that none of us wants it and you are assured to find it at the right place. He's infact one step ahead. Other day, he didn't let me buy kesar rasgullas 'coz he likes it to the extent of denying his own philosphy :(  If you wonder why cookies are safe so far, there is some egg content in them and he's a pure herbivore.

 

But there is more to it...

I got another laptop, not 'coz I needed it; but 'coz it was a deal not meant to be missed.

I had to buy a pack of 5 toothbrushes, simply because they won't let me tear the pack to just pick one.

If we have to take refuge at our home, for next 2 years we can keep our hands, teeth and toilet clean.

Perhaps people plan for a home team for soccer, or these stores want them to.

 

Welcome to the land of abundance. I wish I were in India with this abundance.

Bachelor's dilemma

I am at this junction of life where I am forced to face it. Almost every second talk about me questions my right to remain a bachelor, including the talks I indulge with myself. These are some of the interesting facts I found might be causing the stir.

Reasons why people want me to get married -
Married friends - You cann't be happy alone. And we don't want you to be happy alone. Whichever way you like.
Unmarried friends - If you survive, we'll think.
Mom - So that when she stays with me, she won't have to worry about taking care of me.
Dad - Time for encashment. High depreciation. Sooner the better.
Sisters - They will have someone to talk to about me.
Brother - Side please!
GFs - Thank God! Now I can move on without feeling guilty conscious.
Others - Do we have anything else interesting to talk about you?

Reasons why I am a bachelor yet -
Employment opportunities will have to bear a location constraint or a transfer overhead.
I'll miss the fun of all those big excursions where she is willing to join me.
I'll have to think twice before cooking khichdi with someone else in our overnight expeditions.
If my in-laws are nearby, I'll have to visit them frequently. If they are far, she won't visit them frequently.
While taking a stroll at F.C. road, the topic of coversation will change to cars and home loans.
I'll have to check my bank balance before taking a break.
I'll have to start appreciating the cover not the content (dress, not the girls).
I'll lose the liberty to chose, once I exercise it.
Everyone wants to do it in his own way, not in my way.
No one has said 'Yes' to me yet.
..and finally a little hope -
I overheard a father saying to his beautiful daughter, "If you don't follow what I ask you to do, I'll marry you with a dumb and duffer guy".
I hope the girl is not obedient.

Halloween

Morning, I saw William in office dressed up like a surgeon, looking for an opr theatre and that reminds me it's Halloween today. I still remember William dressed up like Charie Chaplin smiling behind his half cut moustaches while trying to walk zigzag. That was the best costume of 2002 party and Sam getting best scaryman award not 'coz of his mask but his face. But this time not too many enthusiastic. Only a couple of surgeons cleaning the cakes after their kills, a plumber and a fairy. No witches or horror man like Daisy or Scott this time. And top of that, I forgot to bring my camera :( Nevertheless, the party was amazing and so were the candies. But I would have loved more to be in pune off at our traditional day event. Yesterday it was Poo b'd and she got a big surprise party at her place and I missed that too, and Sarang's and now this PEB trek and then Diwali. Sometimes I question, if it's worth missing all that fun.

AASMAAN (Hindi Poem)

TV sent me this beautiful poem from one of his collection. I am sure, this is one of the reason he's at microsoft. Anyway..enjoy it. Hope I get to hear more often from him.

aasmaan jhukta nahin
khaDa rahta hai apni jagah
aDig, achal aur sthir
maano sabhi mushkilon aur baadhaaon ko,
sabhi aapdaaon ko,
muh chida raha ho....

aisa nahi, ki ye musibaton se parey hai
amaavas, is par bhi aati hai
har shaam, iska bhi suraj Dubta hai
taare, iske bhi TuTte hain
rang, iske bhi Dubte hain....

lekin, fir bhi,
ye sabhi rangon ko
apne andar samaa leta hai
aur har subah, bhor ki lalimaa me
aur bhi sajeev ho uthta hai
use apne andar ramaa leta hai....

sochta hun aisa aasmaan
bhale thoda hi sahi
mai apne andar bhi sanjoye hue hun
kahin na kahin chupaaye baitha hun
jise mai DhunDta rahata hun
nirantar, aviraam....

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Coeffee Talks

After satsang, Anl and Sandy and me decided to make a coeffee stop @ Italia. Nice spot, in the middle of University Avenue with most of the crowd from Standford, typically a serendipity place of hollywood movies where Harry and Sally usually meet. Nothing like this happened to us, but the cappuccino was good. While we're sipping our coeffee, sandy started doing calculation of their business profits. And then our attention went to this cute, little baby who was busy picking up coeffee bags from the counter nearby, making a welcoming interrupt at the tables and offering it graciously to others. There was a complaining sign in his innocent eyes when sandy refused to take it. It was a guilt no one could afford to live with. So the packet was on our table the next moment. I was sure, if it was me I would have got a finger or a slap with those f* words. Just because I don't reflect the same innocence in my actions; or may be they cann't figure out the meaning behind it. For a child, it's always an excuse 'coz he doesn't have a meaning for his actions in our contexts and that's what we call innocence. Anway I am one among those and I like it.
Life doesn't need to mean something. All it needs is to be.

Breaking day

The promise to go to gym was postponed for another tomorrow just because I got up late (as usual). The fire alarm yelled at me just 'coz I liked a hot shower today. Left the laundry last night, so the wrinkles were wooing with my clothes. An important document got filed in lost list. This is how my day started.

But there is more to it. Outlook wasn't up till lunch time. Desk phone was dead with an important voice mail sitting in it. Build is broken since last night. The little consolation I found so far were in the crisp of Scott's home made cookies. Still not in mood to work. Weather is good, its started getting cold here. May be I'll just sit and do some thinking work today. Btw I watched 'Die Hard 3' yesterday, and liked the game puzzles Simon was throwing at Macklane and the Smartian guy. May be if I get some free time, I'll post them here.

Aish

  

Raining...

It's raining since morning, or should I say since last night. San Jose and rain, a rare combination. I got my my jacket and jeans muddy but cycling was fun anyway. I am missing the tapri chai and bhajia. Listening to "Mai koi aisa geet gaon, ki aarzoo jagaaon - agar tum kahon"

Pleasure and Pain

Wondering in the dusk hour
should I go or grapes are sour
all prepared still scared

I want this to happen for a long time
the thought is alluring me like an old wine
so here I am standing in front of the room
finally decided to make my move

slooooooooooowly I open the door
and walk in without making a row
no one there, besides me and she
I put on some music to ease the situation
and take out my sweater in anticipation..

I know it's time now,
We start off slow
Feeling good We pick up speed
Our bodies move in perfect symmetry
My temperature rising,
My heart begins to beat rapidly
My pulse starts to race
Feeling lightheaded
My muscles burn

There’s no stopping now.

Sweat glistening on my aching body
Steady motion of my limbs
Deep breaths
carry on till the music last
or better till the body blasts

Finally finished, a deep sigh.
Motionless, Eyes closed.
Exhausted, Satisfied.

I abolish the signs,
drops of me lying on her
we both stand in silence
I put on my sweater.
Without uttering a word
I walk out of the room

- A close encounter of pleasure and pain. This was when I went to run on 'The Treadmill' in Mansion Groove Gym. BTW I like the way you think :)

Game to ponder...

You do whatever produces the optimal final outcome for you - First rule of game theory.

"Are we playing a game?"
But ofcourse we are. I make a decision that influences your decision and vice versa. Our actions are interdependent. It's a game. Everything in life where it happens is a game.

"But what is this about?"
It's between you and some fictitious person(him) who is nothing but rational. You have a choice: cooperate or defect. If both of you cooperate, you each get five hundred dollars. If both of you defect, you each get one hundred dollars. However if one defects and the other cooperates, the bad guy gets one thousand dollars and the nice guy gets nothing. Standard Prisoner's Dilemenma. BTW you will be playing the game four times.

Ok. let's start with you. Make a choice.

Since I assume that you and your fictitious opponent are equally rational, so I can give you access to what he thinks rationally.

Opponent's Decision context - Rational
Sensory context - seeking the collaboration in your eyes that was forbidden otherwise.
His decision - (You don't know)
Your decision - (?)

so we can go for the next round. Just a slight change..we will play this game only one more time.

Opponent's decision context - Rational
His decision - (You don't know)
Your decision (?)

Pondering Thoughts - Four times changed everything. Repetition gave an opportunity to prove trust. Repetition makes us long-term allies, not one-off unknowns. Repetition gave maximum joint gains through cooperation of $4000: so much more that $800 availale through defection. But what if this suddenly goes off. Be honest and try thinking what will be your stand for these two situations, considering yourself a rational person, and see how do you apply it in your relationships.

Bigsur

"The happiness is along the journey, not at the end of the road."
What more I can say about today's drive to Bigsur. The so called 'destination' was never achieved, but who cares as long as we had fun. Well....may be someone who chose it. But missing 'Julia'(Pfeiffer Burns State Park), wasn't expected from him at all. The joy of the morning was to drive on freeway, may be because it was my one of the first time. California Highway 1 is the most scenic route on west coast. That means an opportunity to see some good points, click some good pictures. We had lunch in a forest, saw a sea-lion eating fish, get soaked in the tide while searching for shells. Isha did some stunts with her stone climbing. But the real adventure was Sumi getting trapped in an unknown trail. I hope Amtbh is not that much upset with his rucksack. With a promise to come again for left unachieved, we returned enjoying the music and the cappuccino on our way back.

My first day...

We were already 5 minutes late. The class was full packed. No chair left without a butt. Caught before the crime was the first thought that crossed my mind. Nevertheless spirits were high and so I entered with pride and marched towards one of the front corners. As soon as I put cappuccino on the table by my side, I felt a sense of belonging, an urge to be there.

Those who are still wondering, this was my first day at CSU Hayward school for an MBA program. And yes, it was unofficial. But now when I am there, let me share wht did I experience. The very first thing I liked was the intellectual smile shining behind the gray beard of Prof. Camateros, Spyros. By now you should guess that the crowd was a bit disappointing. No cross-legs..no...u know. His comments were humorous yet threathening to the extent of spice in the vegetable. In a matter of minute, I was sitting just in front of him preparing myself for the unwanted roll-call, which went smooth by. Now the teaching part. Linear Programming techniques - Simplex, Graphics, Algebra, and he was going thru them one by one..invalidating them against his favoritee Excel. He took a simple practical problem and demonstrated the various techniques to arrive at the optimal solution. Hey wait, this was something I had done in my 9th standard..the graphics...the maths. Only thing they didn't tell me was why the hack I am doing it. Now I know, that was most important of all. The CONTEXT. The applicability of the technology. And that's what the education system here seem to be good at. At times the over-explanation of seemingly simple steps seemed to make mockery of my so called intellect, but most his straightforward, humor and expertise made the somewhat boring lecture like a breeze. Overall the joy of attending the class was more than the learnings I got. It was like dream come true trailer. Thanks to Anl for giving me this opportunity. May his carpool grow more and more.

Mind Game

One way to look at an emotion is as the product of any discrepancy between our expectation and actuality. That is why happiness, love and delight wear off, even if the stimuli that initially caused them are still present. We start to expect what we are getting. When everything happens perfectly in alignment with our expectations(as opposed to our hopes, which may be fulfilled against our expectation, causing happiness) then there is no emotion, except perhaps boredom. To me, this is the most profoundly depressing conclusion, but at least it starts to provide an evolutionary explanation for some of the emotions: they are the body's way of alerting us to an unexpected situation or event.
- excerpt from 'Mind Game' by Hector Macdonanld.

Babyish Thrill

Not before the dusk settles,
while walking along the shore,
I watch how the life battles.
Four diminutive birds in quest of their meals,
with a constant pattern of advance and retreat,
marching their feet like a happy child,
dancing in tune with the tides.
how blissful the life is,
if I see it from their eyes.

Spirits of life as eyewitnessed in Halfmoon bay by me and binod, on 18 September 2004.

Hours of solitude

Back home early. My roomy not there. Dinner done. TV bored. No one on chat. No urgency to take care. Void of spirit to continue with 'Mind Game'. So what to do? What to do in these very hours of confinement. Mind stops thinking. Void fills the vaccum. It's like for these hours I don't like to exist anymore. Now the mind strives for its identity. I am observing and simply trying to pen down what all tricks it's implying on me to bring me back into action -
Its making me nostalgic, reminding me that I have a home and I am far away from it.
Sounds standard and most effective. I let it go. See what next.
Oh gosh, lot of pending things to take care at work and at home. Am I a fool to waste time thinkn on these absurds?
hmm, may be I am..atleast for the time being.
Am I not hungry...? How about trying a new recipe today..and for now a ginger tea.
Thanks but no thanks.
I haven't gone for jog for long. No gym, no play. I know I m not in mood...but atleast a stroll?
I want to go, but I don't want to go.
Hey bind's gallary was awesome, shouldn't I explore some photographic features in my camera.
Will do but not now.
How about the site porting I wanted to do..
I haven't yet started anything on my SCEA 2..
Yet to get a licence..
Haven't callled up a lot of folks here and there..
I haven't written a blog for so many days..
What have I thought abt my plans for settlement..
...
...
..
Someone trying on my lock, door opens. My roomy comes in.
Hey hi..eeeeeee. How was your day.
blah..blah...blah...
Me again back to my typing pad, trying to spin back my web of thoughts.
...I know its Amtbh this time, came to pickup dvd.
V indulge in talks, me forgets this intellectual fight with mind.
...and the life goes on.

Who won finally, I dunno. And on whose side am I, I am yet to know.

NY vs Mumbai

Ever wonder why our mind loves wandering in past so much. The first thing it does on seeing something new is to relate it to something old. And based on that it decides whether the present is enjoyable or not. May be that's how it survives. So how was NY, if someone asks me, the first thing in my mind will come Mumbai. No difference between 'Metero' and 'Subway' except the name change & little bit more crowd in former. Ground zero in reality has now nothing to offer except memories. Executives with BMW and Mercedes have to commute by public transport 'coz they cann't afford for parking. This reminds me of the story where a famous millionarie goes to a bank in manhatten to borrow 1000$ and surrenders his car as a security, only to return the money back after 15 days. You can guess, for what. The interesting part of the whole trip was to sketch myself. Sitting in a pose for what seems to be hour looking in the eyes of artist with a hope and 'make me interesting' kind-a plead. I was expecting a cartoon face, but he came up with something altogether different. Anyway whatever it was, looking better than me, so I was happy :) The other thing that I enjoyed was photography, which includes a shoot with Prez Bush and Clinton of all of us. Shooting @ statue of liberty was equally refreshing and worth for all the waits to get there. Had I not gone to LasVegas before, I might have given a 'wow' to times square. But now it was looking more like a hanging out place, and instantly resemble to me like MG road@banglore I went with chin2. Actually I enjoyed MG road much more than times square. Llt was missin Aj a lot, while chin3 were busy in their own world. That left me & Trn most of the time wondering over life and our solitude.

Alum Rock

One more hike plan. Had to fight a little bit in wee hours to get up myself and wake up Anl. But it was worth considering the fact that no place can beat CA weather and that too at dawn hours. It is such a beautiful place. Walking on the edge of river among the deers and birds was refreshing. We made our way on a 0.9 vs 9 miles hiking trail. The view from the top was marvellous and trying shortcuts was fun....and not to forgot the slidings anl had on those shortcuts. The best part was to decide which way to go whenever we encountered any junction. The coming back was a bit boring party 'coz we were parting away from it and mainly 'coz I could not find any alums there :)

Wisdom with pain

Wisdom comes at a price, but in my case it came with pain too. It was lying in my tiny, sprouting tooth for ages in dormant mode and suddenly decided to popup. For a couple of days I sort of enjoyed it, but after a while it started demanding my full attention. Had to visit a doctor for the first time in US. If you are here and haven't yet seen a doctor, I tell you are lucky. Advancement causes perversion and medical system in US is a perfect example for that. Imagine you are deep engrossed in pain and have to call a doctor first for an appointment. And if you are lucky to get the same day appointment, a big obligation. In india, I never had to care about getting an appointment. Anway I took the day off and went with Sumi to see the doctor. After a cursory examination, I was advised to part away with my wisdom asap that too at a cost of a couple of thousand dollars. But guess, I am wise enough not to decide to part away with it, unless I am forced to. Anway doc was kind enough not to charge me just 'coz my insurance wasn't good for her.
Wonder why people call it a wisdom tooth. Can anyone enlighten me on this so called wisdom? BTW who says wisdom lies in gray hairs, for me it lies in teeth :)