My first day...

We were already 5 minutes late. The class was full packed. No chair left without a butt. Caught before the crime was the first thought that crossed my mind. Nevertheless spirits were high and so I entered with pride and marched towards one of the front corners. As soon as I put cappuccino on the table by my side, I felt a sense of belonging, an urge to be there.

Those who are still wondering, this was my first day at CSU Hayward school for an MBA program. And yes, it was unofficial. But now when I am there, let me share wht did I experience. The very first thing I liked was the intellectual smile shining behind the gray beard of Prof. Camateros, Spyros. By now you should guess that the crowd was a bit disappointing. No cross-legs..no...u know. His comments were humorous yet threathening to the extent of spice in the vegetable. In a matter of minute, I was sitting just in front of him preparing myself for the unwanted roll-call, which went smooth by. Now the teaching part. Linear Programming techniques - Simplex, Graphics, Algebra, and he was going thru them one by one..invalidating them against his favoritee Excel. He took a simple practical problem and demonstrated the various techniques to arrive at the optimal solution. Hey wait, this was something I had done in my 9th standard..the graphics...the maths. Only thing they didn't tell me was why the hack I am doing it. Now I know, that was most important of all. The CONTEXT. The applicability of the technology. And that's what the education system here seem to be good at. At times the over-explanation of seemingly simple steps seemed to make mockery of my so called intellect, but most his straightforward, humor and expertise made the somewhat boring lecture like a breeze. Overall the joy of attending the class was more than the learnings I got. It was like dream come true trailer. Thanks to Anl for giving me this opportunity. May his carpool grow more and more.

Mind Game

One way to look at an emotion is as the product of any discrepancy between our expectation and actuality. That is why happiness, love and delight wear off, even if the stimuli that initially caused them are still present. We start to expect what we are getting. When everything happens perfectly in alignment with our expectations(as opposed to our hopes, which may be fulfilled against our expectation, causing happiness) then there is no emotion, except perhaps boredom. To me, this is the most profoundly depressing conclusion, but at least it starts to provide an evolutionary explanation for some of the emotions: they are the body's way of alerting us to an unexpected situation or event.
- excerpt from 'Mind Game' by Hector Macdonanld.

Babyish Thrill

Not before the dusk settles,
while walking along the shore,
I watch how the life battles.
Four diminutive birds in quest of their meals,
with a constant pattern of advance and retreat,
marching their feet like a happy child,
dancing in tune with the tides.
how blissful the life is,
if I see it from their eyes.

Spirits of life as eyewitnessed in Halfmoon bay by me and binod, on 18 September 2004.

Hours of solitude

Back home early. My roomy not there. Dinner done. TV bored. No one on chat. No urgency to take care. Void of spirit to continue with 'Mind Game'. So what to do? What to do in these very hours of confinement. Mind stops thinking. Void fills the vaccum. It's like for these hours I don't like to exist anymore. Now the mind strives for its identity. I am observing and simply trying to pen down what all tricks it's implying on me to bring me back into action -
Its making me nostalgic, reminding me that I have a home and I am far away from it.
Sounds standard and most effective. I let it go. See what next.
Oh gosh, lot of pending things to take care at work and at home. Am I a fool to waste time thinkn on these absurds?
hmm, may be I am..atleast for the time being.
Am I not hungry...? How about trying a new recipe today..and for now a ginger tea.
Thanks but no thanks.
I haven't gone for jog for long. No gym, no play. I know I m not in mood...but atleast a stroll?
I want to go, but I don't want to go.
Hey bind's gallary was awesome, shouldn't I explore some photographic features in my camera.
Will do but not now.
How about the site porting I wanted to do..
I haven't yet started anything on my SCEA 2..
Yet to get a licence..
Haven't callled up a lot of folks here and there..
I haven't written a blog for so many days..
What have I thought abt my plans for settlement..
...
...
..
Someone trying on my lock, door opens. My roomy comes in.
Hey hi..eeeeeee. How was your day.
blah..blah...blah...
Me again back to my typing pad, trying to spin back my web of thoughts.
...I know its Amtbh this time, came to pickup dvd.
V indulge in talks, me forgets this intellectual fight with mind.
...and the life goes on.

Who won finally, I dunno. And on whose side am I, I am yet to know.

NY vs Mumbai

Ever wonder why our mind loves wandering in past so much. The first thing it does on seeing something new is to relate it to something old. And based on that it decides whether the present is enjoyable or not. May be that's how it survives. So how was NY, if someone asks me, the first thing in my mind will come Mumbai. No difference between 'Metero' and 'Subway' except the name change & little bit more crowd in former. Ground zero in reality has now nothing to offer except memories. Executives with BMW and Mercedes have to commute by public transport 'coz they cann't afford for parking. This reminds me of the story where a famous millionarie goes to a bank in manhatten to borrow 1000$ and surrenders his car as a security, only to return the money back after 15 days. You can guess, for what. The interesting part of the whole trip was to sketch myself. Sitting in a pose for what seems to be hour looking in the eyes of artist with a hope and 'make me interesting' kind-a plead. I was expecting a cartoon face, but he came up with something altogether different. Anyway whatever it was, looking better than me, so I was happy :) The other thing that I enjoyed was photography, which includes a shoot with Prez Bush and Clinton of all of us. Shooting @ statue of liberty was equally refreshing and worth for all the waits to get there. Had I not gone to LasVegas before, I might have given a 'wow' to times square. But now it was looking more like a hanging out place, and instantly resemble to me like MG road@banglore I went with chin2. Actually I enjoyed MG road much more than times square. Llt was missin Aj a lot, while chin3 were busy in their own world. That left me & Trn most of the time wondering over life and our solitude.

Alum Rock

One more hike plan. Had to fight a little bit in wee hours to get up myself and wake up Anl. But it was worth considering the fact that no place can beat CA weather and that too at dawn hours. It is such a beautiful place. Walking on the edge of river among the deers and birds was refreshing. We made our way on a 0.9 vs 9 miles hiking trail. The view from the top was marvellous and trying shortcuts was fun....and not to forgot the slidings anl had on those shortcuts. The best part was to decide which way to go whenever we encountered any junction. The coming back was a bit boring party 'coz we were parting away from it and mainly 'coz I could not find any alums there :)

Wisdom with pain

Wisdom comes at a price, but in my case it came with pain too. It was lying in my tiny, sprouting tooth for ages in dormant mode and suddenly decided to popup. For a couple of days I sort of enjoyed it, but after a while it started demanding my full attention. Had to visit a doctor for the first time in US. If you are here and haven't yet seen a doctor, I tell you are lucky. Advancement causes perversion and medical system in US is a perfect example for that. Imagine you are deep engrossed in pain and have to call a doctor first for an appointment. And if you are lucky to get the same day appointment, a big obligation. In india, I never had to care about getting an appointment. Anway I took the day off and went with Sumi to see the doctor. After a cursory examination, I was advised to part away with my wisdom asap that too at a cost of a couple of thousand dollars. But guess, I am wise enough not to decide to part away with it, unless I am forced to. Anway doc was kind enough not to charge me just 'coz my insurance wasn't good for her.
Wonder why people call it a wisdom tooth. Can anyone enlighten me on this so called wisdom? BTW who says wisdom lies in gray hairs, for me it lies in teeth :)

Khichdi Pulav

Cooking is an adventure here. After play was feeling hungry. Didn't have much stuff at home, only rice. So what...Khichdi Pulav. Something I have learnt preparing here to cover the risk of both khichdi and pulav...& everytime it's like I am cooking it for the first time. Whatever masalaas are available I try with guess work qty. And you may not believe but it comes out to be perfect everytime. Atleast for guys like us :) Wanna have something!

Guitaar

Was playing tennis with Syg when I saw Sct playing guitaar with Krshna. He's marvelous with the chords. Had I learnt some basics in Pune and been upto some practice, I could have join 'em. Luck is when preparations meet the opportunity ;(

Dear Diary

Once more I am all set to start having dates with you. And promise, no ditching this time...as always ;). Hey..you can rely on me this time, I don't have other dates anyway!I moved into my new place yesterday and seems like all set except for a few items on my shopping list. My new roomy Anl is nice fellow working @cisco and doin his MBA. I am sure, will enjoy his company and will get a chance to learn from him. I doubt, it will be the same kind of exp for him or not ;) I landed here on 18th July so that means 2 weeks completed today. Thank God, Amtbh was here. So no big hurry...for searchin accmd and other stuff. Spent nice 2 weeks @ his place, courtsey Sumi. Felt back in routine here as soon as I picked up some books from the library. Hope to start one (My Best Friend) soon...

The work

Very first day I learnt that I have been assigned some task back in Prcr. Also we talked about the framework for Sltc automation which seem to be a full fledged project for eagle if I get a chance to pursue that. Prm also asked me to get involved with MES and BPML stuff. Looks like I'm getting an opportunity in the areas I wanted, to what extent yet to see. Much depends on what is the push behind it.

"Want to live happy forever, learn to love what you do!!"

Walking adventure

There is no pedestrian walk or cross signals at the expressway parting my home from the office. It is like a river without a bridge for me to cross. Guys, believe me India is much better in this case. You can walk in any damn place in your own way ofcourse @ your own risk. First day I took a ride in Imrn boat (by all means I can call it a cruise) and at night managed to cross it like the bowfinger guy. Tell you what, I didn't believe it was fun when I was watching him in the movie and for sure till I was on the other side of the road waiting for 'Action' to begin. Anyway second day...not again. Waited @ crossing for almost 15 minutes. I was like praying to 'The unknown' atleast for emptying the river meanwhile he makes the bridge. But I guess it was heard only by the clouds raining more and more cars -(...may be another -X effect of murphy's law. Ok enough, cann't wait anymore. Better call a cab or will ask sumi to give me the ride. I turned back...and there was this pretty girl walking down the street. I waited to see how will she manage to cross. But she didn't cross it @all, rather walked along the edge till the far end crossing where there was a pedestrian walk. With much dare, I was after her. She might have felt koi gunda peecche laga hai 'coz she fastened her pace. And that scared me a lot 'coz she could have called the cop. Those who are thinking I am back on my single track mind, better know that she was a chennaiese. Poo can explain well wht does that mean.
"What is life, if not full of adventure,
in daily routine we live, like a machine!
What is future, if we stick to the past,
its like living the past repeated with new cast!"

Got a call from Amtbh. That means a tennis break. Check out the space for more later.

The journey

Once more, I was in A's amchi mumbai. The one whom I still miss at times. Anyway the best part was that I met with Raj at mumbai airport. At first glance I wasn't too sure if it was him. I followed him for a while checking my instincts. There he is. I introduced myself. He didn't remember me ;( We spent a nice time talking about Sltc, old timers, good time (he was so excited to talk about hawaii), who is doing what stuff, his plans, his trips, his meets with big shots. I felt the same kind of pride in listening to him, as he was having while talking to me about his meet with prez of india. Rest of time, we didn't see much of each other. A little bit of movies bundled with sleep and interrupted by Asian special Veg meal marked most of the time of my journey.

Musical Meet

This was the musical meet once we had at my place in pune. Shenoj 'The guitaar guru' and Sarng 'The Singer'. I really miss the fun and ofcourse my dates with guitaar.

Passion for life

It's been more than 3 months since I started learning guitaar and I still don't see myself holding it with a promise of even a single tune. Well, if you ask me 'I want to learn' and 'I am taking classes for it'....then wht's missing! Ya...I need to practice....practice a lot...tht's my instructor tells me everytime....& my justification...I don't have time to do that...but the fact is that I can spare time for so many things I even don't like to do...then why not this. And isn't true for so many things in my life, your life.....THE LIFE? PASSION - that's all I can see missing in me. That's what I clearly saw in my next door neighbour I met today. I found Rohit so much passionate about his guitaar...his music...that nothing else matters to him. But hasn't he got what matters to him. He is such a perfect guitarist, that music was radiating from his fingers, the moment he held my guitaar. He offered to teach me everything. But Passion was the one thing I could identify in our half an hour conversation that I *must* need to have and he cann't teach me. The only variance between me as a novice & me as a master ...rest I know I can learn.PASSION is the only thing that I feel cann't be learnt. It comes from within. It shapes our life, our destiny. This is on which I see life moves on.....

Give it a thought...tell me what is your passion for life? Mine is to observe life & to learn.

Made a difference

I would like to quote a small incident which though hasn't come from my life but which had a lasting impact on my attitude towards life. I see myself in this type of dilemma whenever it comes to passion vs. practicality and this little begining has always been my inspiration to work for my passion. Here it goes...

A friend of ours was walking down a deserted Marina Beach at sunset. As he walked along, he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer, he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean. As our friend approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at a time, he was throwing them back into the water.
Our friend was puzzled. He approached the man and said, "Good Evening, friend. I was wondering what you are doing."
"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now and all of these star fish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw them back into the sea, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen".
"I understand," my friend replied, "but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can't possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many. And don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"
The local native smiled, bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied, "Made a difference to that one!"

Pune - The city with heart

It turned out to be a hillarious joke at our t-talk. We were mentioning about the beautiful birds we saw during our singhgarh treks. Su asked the best place to do bird watching. And we guys gave her a big smile as if we were asked to tell a good movie of BB. A told it was FC, whereas I was insisting on MG road. Su was puzzled at first but joined us soon in our laughters. Single track, KK(capital)-that's how she calls us. Any guess for title KK? Mr. rightguess is eligible for the title at his own risk.

SA gave a call today evening when we were trying to square with our SCEA studies. "Dinner kahan karna hai?". He stays at Pashaan. So the obvious choice was Chaitanya at FC road - Sasta,Sundar aur Tikao (that's wht its Parathas and Patiala lassi are for the stomach). The girl on the other table in front of me was giving me smile at every other pass which I was dutifully returning back with interest. How do you know that guys are getting old & bored, when they talk about cars and bikes while taking an evening walking on FC road, and I know SA and Amtbh definitely are. Hope they encounter this blog, warna mai takla jaroor ho jaoonga in the cause of serving truth.

Random Thoughts

I am taking a different perspective of my feelings ever since my LAC. And with each introspection, the idea is strengthening itself deep in my heart. The point is that feelings don't matter, just like dreams. They are sure to go away after a while just like our dreams. They have only a timely existence and hence they don't represent the truth. I've seen myself getting driven out of my feelings ever since I started observing myself. The other noticeable thing is tht they possess me till they exist. They have control over my reasoning, my body, mind almost everything that matters in physical being. There is no way I can get away from them at my will. Most of the time, they fade away themselves in due course of time, or get aside by other feelings...as a result of external stimuli.

chores

Revived our trips to singhgarh...yesterday. A well 'njoyed morning. A dining in 5 star cann't match the taste of nimbu pani that we have at the top. Watching beauuuuuutiful tiny miny birds colored with yellow, green, orange...was a bonus on our way down. The rest of the day went so so with a half hearted and needless to say unsuccessful attempt to catch up with my study work.
Morning S gave me a surprise call. Guess..he wants a car now. It's not that I don't agree with his needs, just want to be cautious from utility and expense point of view while taking this big decision. May be a good deal and I'll say yes. Badi..also seems to be in place with me and S playin again today. Only left out is study..To some extent I feel that once i m thru it, i won't be left with any excuse but for a change. And still don't know wht do I want. Sometimes looks like I am adopting....acceptin the things as they are. But some part within me still wants me to be optimistic. Let's c what do i have in my destiny.

back to pune

Atlast...back to pune. There is so much to catch up...my mood during my return time..specially the last 2 days...farewell(s)...talks with P...IBM visit with UC...everything was fabulous and still alive in my memories. Equally good was my stay at home and VD & Agroha trip...and wud have been the best had it not been spoiled by my illness. May be at someother time i'll try to pen down some of those precious moments.

Here i am all settled so soon. Yesterday was refreshing though a bit waste of time. Today I am trying to make up...and put myself into some actions. Still not sure about my coming specials but biased for a change and making mind to coordinate my SCEA and other activities...Also will try to get engaged in some refreshing activities, MW and YG apart..

That's it for now. Will catch soon!!!