Musical Meet

This was the musical meet once we had at my place in pune. Shenoj 'The guitaar guru' and Sarng 'The Singer'. I really miss the fun and ofcourse my dates with guitaar.

Passion for life

It's been more than 3 months since I started learning guitaar and I still don't see myself holding it with a promise of even a single tune. Well, if you ask me 'I want to learn' and 'I am taking classes for it'....then wht's missing! Ya...I need to practice....practice a lot...tht's my instructor tells me everytime....& my justification...I don't have time to do that...but the fact is that I can spare time for so many things I even don't like to do...then why not this. And isn't true for so many things in my life, your life.....THE LIFE? PASSION - that's all I can see missing in me. That's what I clearly saw in my next door neighbour I met today. I found Rohit so much passionate about his guitaar...his music...that nothing else matters to him. But hasn't he got what matters to him. He is such a perfect guitarist, that music was radiating from his fingers, the moment he held my guitaar. He offered to teach me everything. But Passion was the one thing I could identify in our half an hour conversation that I *must* need to have and he cann't teach me. The only variance between me as a novice & me as a master ...rest I know I can learn.PASSION is the only thing that I feel cann't be learnt. It comes from within. It shapes our life, our destiny. This is on which I see life moves on.....

Give it a thought...tell me what is your passion for life? Mine is to observe life & to learn.

Made a difference

I would like to quote a small incident which though hasn't come from my life but which had a lasting impact on my attitude towards life. I see myself in this type of dilemma whenever it comes to passion vs. practicality and this little begining has always been my inspiration to work for my passion. Here it goes...

A friend of ours was walking down a deserted Marina Beach at sunset. As he walked along, he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer, he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean. As our friend approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at a time, he was throwing them back into the water.
Our friend was puzzled. He approached the man and said, "Good Evening, friend. I was wondering what you are doing."
"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now and all of these star fish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw them back into the sea, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen".
"I understand," my friend replied, "but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can't possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many. And don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"
The local native smiled, bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied, "Made a difference to that one!"

Pune - The city with heart

It turned out to be a hillarious joke at our t-talk. We were mentioning about the beautiful birds we saw during our singhgarh treks. Su asked the best place to do bird watching. And we guys gave her a big smile as if we were asked to tell a good movie of BB. A told it was FC, whereas I was insisting on MG road. Su was puzzled at first but joined us soon in our laughters. Single track, KK(capital)-that's how she calls us. Any guess for title KK? Mr. rightguess is eligible for the title at his own risk.

SA gave a call today evening when we were trying to square with our SCEA studies. "Dinner kahan karna hai?". He stays at Pashaan. So the obvious choice was Chaitanya at FC road - Sasta,Sundar aur Tikao (that's wht its Parathas and Patiala lassi are for the stomach). The girl on the other table in front of me was giving me smile at every other pass which I was dutifully returning back with interest. How do you know that guys are getting old & bored, when they talk about cars and bikes while taking an evening walking on FC road, and I know SA and Amtbh definitely are. Hope they encounter this blog, warna mai takla jaroor ho jaoonga in the cause of serving truth.

Random Thoughts

I am taking a different perspective of my feelings ever since my LAC. And with each introspection, the idea is strengthening itself deep in my heart. The point is that feelings don't matter, just like dreams. They are sure to go away after a while just like our dreams. They have only a timely existence and hence they don't represent the truth. I've seen myself getting driven out of my feelings ever since I started observing myself. The other noticeable thing is tht they possess me till they exist. They have control over my reasoning, my body, mind almost everything that matters in physical being. There is no way I can get away from them at my will. Most of the time, they fade away themselves in due course of time, or get aside by other feelings...as a result of external stimuli.

chores

Revived our trips to singhgarh...yesterday. A well 'njoyed morning. A dining in 5 star cann't match the taste of nimbu pani that we have at the top. Watching beauuuuuutiful tiny miny birds colored with yellow, green, orange...was a bonus on our way down. The rest of the day went so so with a half hearted and needless to say unsuccessful attempt to catch up with my study work.
Morning S gave me a surprise call. Guess..he wants a car now. It's not that I don't agree with his needs, just want to be cautious from utility and expense point of view while taking this big decision. May be a good deal and I'll say yes. Badi..also seems to be in place with me and S playin again today. Only left out is study..To some extent I feel that once i m thru it, i won't be left with any excuse but for a change. And still don't know wht do I want. Sometimes looks like I am adopting....acceptin the things as they are. But some part within me still wants me to be optimistic. Let's c what do i have in my destiny.

back to pune

Atlast...back to pune. There is so much to catch up...my mood during my return time..specially the last 2 days...farewell(s)...talks with P...IBM visit with UC...everything was fabulous and still alive in my memories. Equally good was my stay at home and VD & Agroha trip...and wud have been the best had it not been spoiled by my illness. May be at someother time i'll try to pen down some of those precious moments.

Here i am all settled so soon. Yesterday was refreshing though a bit waste of time. Today I am trying to make up...and put myself into some actions. Still not sure about my coming specials but biased for a change and making mind to coordinate my SCEA and other activities...Also will try to get engaged in some refreshing activities, MW and YG apart..

That's it for now. Will catch soon!!!

As the date of my departure is coming near, I am being surrounded by all sorts of probs. BOM case seems to be taking more time and troubles...and I am afraid I'll have to keep my account open for that. Tht means a whole set of probs. DVDs I bought is becoming costlier and costlier. Work is piling up. On top of all, I am feeling damn bored and longing for going back. I guess coming days will demand more and more from me and I should be better prepared in advance. Overall a boring day today. Planning to spend another hour to work. Let's see how far I go today.

Ch was right...one of the prob with our get together is tht its memories keep on haunting for a long time, makin it difficult to find everything okay with our routine life...and so here I am amidst lot of work..feeling damn nostalgic abt everything. Just want to run away.....from everything.

Gotta run....rel meeting ahead.

Relocation Matrix

Did a good job of creating a preference order for my relocation plan taking all known aspects into consideration. Defined the priority order in terms of settlement, career, money and hobbies, education and other activities. Looks like I'll prefer to relocate to gurgaon or noida or other delhi side region. If not delhi, then mumbai should be my next option, considering that I can be associated with ldmrk there and it's comparatively nearer to delhi. So I can frequently visit there. Unexpectedly B'glore scored lower than Pune primarily because I have a comfort zone in pune, and to come out of it I need substainal reasons. B'glore apart from career and money is not seeming lucrative than Pune in any sense. Other surprise was that aborad was scoring lesser than Delhi. Again the primarly reason was settlement. And in a sense it seems to be right also. But it seems that if SLTC provides me an option to relocate to sanjose office, i'll prefer it than going to elsewhere. Seems right to me...without any arguments.

Hartford

Guess what could be a best time to blog, here I am sitting 4.15 AM on L&A's sweet home having an hour to pass; and I am in absoulte mood to talk. Yesterday camping was perfect...and we had a fantastic time. River view was too charming....and khichdi aaha..a...was such a delight that I won't mind to keep the burn ever to remind me of its sweet taste. A does really good acting for du ch. Felt nice to meet her. C hasn't changed much and I found L totally 'njoying his luck&life. Also got a chance to talk to kar together. I wish M wud have listened to every word of ours and I cud see kar tryin to explain things before her afterwards :)

Got my return tickets...also booked for pune on 29th.!!!...but a shock too abt my VD plan which was almost finalized. Looks like the days are not auspicious for goin there...and we won't get permission from home. I should have better taken care of this before...anyway let me talk to mom. It's okay for me, if she doesn't mind...I don't know how much it will be for others. But sort of major ;(

Another thing regarding my work...going pretty hectic now-a-days but I guess I'll manage as usual. S irked me a liitle bit with his apparently bossy attitude, but I feel it's more attributed to my apprehension towards going back to same dull environment. I wish they do something out of way to get the spirits back in pune off, otherwise...

Having a good, busy time on weekends ever since s & i came here. Even managed to fast on Janmasthmi...and went to sunnyvale temple. We had a pretty good shoppin day at gilroy also. Tht reminds me tht yesterday i took an account of my shopping...and guess wht i am almost through it.. I had a tough time for deciding wht 4 whom but satisfied in the end :)

Looking forward to meet L, A & M tomorrow and talk a lot with them. Hope it doesn't become too hectic. I'll surely post my experience of this trip.

Hurray!!! won 4 chess games in consecutive matches against higher ranking players, first time my score shooted around 1300. The last one was specially good. Guess I am a good player now.

Also watched Hungama tonight with Sandy....full to comedy. I was just hoping on Paresh Rawal but the whole crew was perfect and overshadowed him. Worth watching.
More interesting was our dinner talks, after a long gap I had some intellectual conversations with someone. It's like we all know the truth but hoping around it, 'coz its nothing. It will set us free which we don't want.

Inspired by Anvi let me guess 3 things which made me feel happy this week.
1. My return book on 14th for Delhi through the same ticket.
2. Today evening with sandy - the movie and the dinner talks
3. Walk in the rain...which is rare in sanjose

Time to go for my intellectual sleep.

m in major cribbing mood today. Everything is okay...but somehow I am trying to find faults desperately to excuse me for my frustrations. It always happens when I find myself at giving end too much. But the good thing is that now I don't expect the other person to take some initiatives...time has taught me a lot. Nevertheless, I feel a lot more alone. Wish...I could have.......

BTW my departure date has almost got finalized. And everything is going with the expected plans. Still having confusion over job...but more or less in favor of a change, actually the major confusion is where? Hope time will find a better answer for me.

Yesterday I read a lot of blogs specially Anvita, Jivha, Deki... Deki was the best. Anvita was equally impressive. Don't know whether I would be able to have such kind of intellectual talks with some artistic colors on my blog...but tht's definitely a dream of me to maintain such a cool possessions of all my thoughts and life. And...in pursue of life the journey continues till it meets the eternal truth of life.
Feeling a bit relax after serving notice to Marriane. Things are not so complex as I am taking them. Only thing is that I am not able to extract any energy from them.

Morning was okay till I faced the world in my inbox. Although I am used to now see the goodbye mails, but this one I didn't expect and I didn't want. This was kinda leftover hopes for staying sometime in pune office. Showed my grief by suspending my work for nearly half a day. Now I know I'll have to plan for a change with no exceptions. Sooner the better. But the road ahead seems totally uncertain. And that makes my targets of SCEA and OCP more important. But I guess, I still have to figure out what do I want in long run. That means lot of introspection and lot of risks but that would be worth the hopes I've with my future. I wish, I had someone to guide me or atleast who would be interested in listening and understanding to me. Ofcourse suggestions would be bonus. I know there are lot of them with all ears and concerned eyes. But in due course of time, they failed to prove satisfactory in my preception. I know it's my preception, and it can be and should be changed; but not yet big enough. I still feel the need for replacement to fill the vaccum.

Some of you might be disappointed by the mismatch of my blog title 'cooldesires' with my content. It's more like a simple daily events report I am posting now & then, rather than a hearthy bag of cool desirees...which my blog title promises to you. Believe me this disappoints me as much as it does to you. Whenever I sit to write something I always desire to talk about my cool desires...and looks like this is becoming one of them ;(
Anyway I've something special for today..and I'll cut it short. This morning before heading for office, I did a little introspection to find out the reasons of my damping spirits for last couple of weeks, and specially why I wasn't doing what I am supposed to do as per my set targets. And I found that I am void of energy..to.carry on with my life. Well...you might say nothing special about it, it looks as plain and straight as life and death.But this gives me a direction of thoughts....everytime I slow down, it's not because I don't have things to work for. This journey seems to have endless destinations one after another. And if you mean by capability and opportunities, then that too I should have in plenty. But most of the time when I find myself stuck, it's like these targets seem to stop providing me the driving force. So I end up in reviewing my goals and trying to make them better or more valuable for me. But actually they are the same one, carrying the same meanings. So am I missing something. Yes...definitely. What I don't know. But I know that I always have been longing for it in one form or another. I know some of the forms in which I can think of getting it. And most of the time it doesn't work out that way. Can there be some way I can get it formless, so much that it can be an integral part of me or me to it....? My first cool desire..!!!

well...here I am again inspired by others' blogs to write something of my own. Last time when I was in San Jose, chess was my favourite time pass...and it would have been, had they not shown their interest towards my credit card number. So instead I took up reading rediff diaries and lately the blog section. And ya..I am grateful to my chess site for not allowing me to play. Its good to see so many thoughts floating around....and I really 'njoy reading most of 'em.

Ever since I started knowing myself, i had a desire to talk about my thoughts...like others I started with writing my dairy....those were the bad days and most of time i enjoyed talking to my loneliness through some writeups, but it was hard to keep it safe, so i ended up in destroying it. When I got my comp, I started writing it in word doc....but could not follow up on this properly. Net is a good medium...so here I am with you.

"The dinner is being served in the cafe" - Indian food daily sponsored by co...tht's wht i like most abt working here. And for sure, i don't want to miss it. So I break it here...till v meet again!