Got my return tickets...also booked for pune on 29th.!!!...but a shock too abt my VD plan which was almost finalized. Looks like the days are not auspicious for goin there...and we won't get permission from home. I should have better taken care of this before...anyway let me talk to mom. It's okay for me, if she doesn't mind...I don't know how much it will be for others. But sort of major ;(

Another thing regarding my work...going pretty hectic now-a-days but I guess I'll manage as usual. S irked me a liitle bit with his apparently bossy attitude, but I feel it's more attributed to my apprehension towards going back to same dull environment. I wish they do something out of way to get the spirits back in pune off, otherwise...

Having a good, busy time on weekends ever since s & i came here. Even managed to fast on Janmasthmi...and went to sunnyvale temple. We had a pretty good shoppin day at gilroy also. Tht reminds me tht yesterday i took an account of my shopping...and guess wht i am almost through it.. I had a tough time for deciding wht 4 whom but satisfied in the end :)

Looking forward to meet L, A & M tomorrow and talk a lot with them. Hope it doesn't become too hectic. I'll surely post my experience of this trip.

Hurray!!! won 4 chess games in consecutive matches against higher ranking players, first time my score shooted around 1300. The last one was specially good. Guess I am a good player now.

Also watched Hungama tonight with Sandy....full to comedy. I was just hoping on Paresh Rawal but the whole crew was perfect and overshadowed him. Worth watching.
More interesting was our dinner talks, after a long gap I had some intellectual conversations with someone. It's like we all know the truth but hoping around it, 'coz its nothing. It will set us free which we don't want.

Inspired by Anvi let me guess 3 things which made me feel happy this week.
1. My return book on 14th for Delhi through the same ticket.
2. Today evening with sandy - the movie and the dinner talks
3. Walk in the rain...which is rare in sanjose

Time to go for my intellectual sleep.

m in major cribbing mood today. Everything is okay...but somehow I am trying to find faults desperately to excuse me for my frustrations. It always happens when I find myself at giving end too much. But the good thing is that now I don't expect the other person to take some initiatives...time has taught me a lot. Nevertheless, I feel a lot more alone. Wish...I could have.......

BTW my departure date has almost got finalized. And everything is going with the expected plans. Still having confusion over job...but more or less in favor of a change, actually the major confusion is where? Hope time will find a better answer for me.

Yesterday I read a lot of blogs specially Anvita, Jivha, Deki... Deki was the best. Anvita was equally impressive. Don't know whether I would be able to have such kind of intellectual talks with some artistic colors on my blog...but tht's definitely a dream of me to maintain such a cool possessions of all my thoughts and life. And...in pursue of life the journey continues till it meets the eternal truth of life.
Feeling a bit relax after serving notice to Marriane. Things are not so complex as I am taking them. Only thing is that I am not able to extract any energy from them.

Morning was okay till I faced the world in my inbox. Although I am used to now see the goodbye mails, but this one I didn't expect and I didn't want. This was kinda leftover hopes for staying sometime in pune office. Showed my grief by suspending my work for nearly half a day. Now I know I'll have to plan for a change with no exceptions. Sooner the better. But the road ahead seems totally uncertain. And that makes my targets of SCEA and OCP more important. But I guess, I still have to figure out what do I want in long run. That means lot of introspection and lot of risks but that would be worth the hopes I've with my future. I wish, I had someone to guide me or atleast who would be interested in listening and understanding to me. Ofcourse suggestions would be bonus. I know there are lot of them with all ears and concerned eyes. But in due course of time, they failed to prove satisfactory in my preception. I know it's my preception, and it can be and should be changed; but not yet big enough. I still feel the need for replacement to fill the vaccum.

Some of you might be disappointed by the mismatch of my blog title 'cooldesires' with my content. It's more like a simple daily events report I am posting now & then, rather than a hearthy bag of cool desirees...which my blog title promises to you. Believe me this disappoints me as much as it does to you. Whenever I sit to write something I always desire to talk about my cool desires...and looks like this is becoming one of them ;(
Anyway I've something special for today..and I'll cut it short. This morning before heading for office, I did a little introspection to find out the reasons of my damping spirits for last couple of weeks, and specially why I wasn't doing what I am supposed to do as per my set targets. And I found that I am void of energy..to.carry on with my life. Well...you might say nothing special about it, it looks as plain and straight as life and death.But this gives me a direction of thoughts....everytime I slow down, it's not because I don't have things to work for. This journey seems to have endless destinations one after another. And if you mean by capability and opportunities, then that too I should have in plenty. But most of the time when I find myself stuck, it's like these targets seem to stop providing me the driving force. So I end up in reviewing my goals and trying to make them better or more valuable for me. But actually they are the same one, carrying the same meanings. So am I missing something. Yes...definitely. What I don't know. But I know that I always have been longing for it in one form or another. I know some of the forms in which I can think of getting it. And most of the time it doesn't work out that way. Can there be some way I can get it formless, so much that it can be an integral part of me or me to it....? My first cool desire..!!!

well...here I am again inspired by others' blogs to write something of my own. Last time when I was in San Jose, chess was my favourite time pass...and it would have been, had they not shown their interest towards my credit card number. So instead I took up reading rediff diaries and lately the blog section. And ya..I am grateful to my chess site for not allowing me to play. Its good to see so many thoughts floating around....and I really 'njoy reading most of 'em.

Ever since I started knowing myself, i had a desire to talk about my thoughts...like others I started with writing my dairy....those were the bad days and most of time i enjoyed talking to my loneliness through some writeups, but it was hard to keep it safe, so i ended up in destroying it. When I got my comp, I started writing it in word doc....but could not follow up on this properly. Net is a good medium...so here I am with you.

"The dinner is being served in the cafe" - Indian food daily sponsored by co...tht's wht i like most abt working here. And for sure, i don't want to miss it. So I break it here...till v meet again!