Halloween

Morning, I saw William in office dressed up like a surgeon, looking for an opr theatre and that reminds me it's Halloween today. I still remember William dressed up like Charie Chaplin smiling behind his half cut moustaches while trying to walk zigzag. That was the best costume of 2002 party and Sam getting best scaryman award not 'coz of his mask but his face. But this time not too many enthusiastic. Only a couple of surgeons cleaning the cakes after their kills, a plumber and a fairy. No witches or horror man like Daisy or Scott this time. And top of that, I forgot to bring my camera :( Nevertheless, the party was amazing and so were the candies. But I would have loved more to be in pune off at our traditional day event. Yesterday it was Poo b'd and she got a big surprise party at her place and I missed that too, and Sarang's and now this PEB trek and then Diwali. Sometimes I question, if it's worth missing all that fun.

AASMAAN (Hindi Poem)

TV sent me this beautiful poem from one of his collection. I am sure, this is one of the reason he's at microsoft. Anyway..enjoy it. Hope I get to hear more often from him.

aasmaan jhukta nahin
khaDa rahta hai apni jagah
aDig, achal aur sthir
maano sabhi mushkilon aur baadhaaon ko,
sabhi aapdaaon ko,
muh chida raha ho....

aisa nahi, ki ye musibaton se parey hai
amaavas, is par bhi aati hai
har shaam, iska bhi suraj Dubta hai
taare, iske bhi TuTte hain
rang, iske bhi Dubte hain....

lekin, fir bhi,
ye sabhi rangon ko
apne andar samaa leta hai
aur har subah, bhor ki lalimaa me
aur bhi sajeev ho uthta hai
use apne andar ramaa leta hai....

sochta hun aisa aasmaan
bhale thoda hi sahi
mai apne andar bhi sanjoye hue hun
kahin na kahin chupaaye baitha hun
jise mai DhunDta rahata hun
nirantar, aviraam....

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Coeffee Talks

After satsang, Anl and Sandy and me decided to make a coeffee stop @ Italia. Nice spot, in the middle of University Avenue with most of the crowd from Standford, typically a serendipity place of hollywood movies where Harry and Sally usually meet. Nothing like this happened to us, but the cappuccino was good. While we're sipping our coeffee, sandy started doing calculation of their business profits. And then our attention went to this cute, little baby who was busy picking up coeffee bags from the counter nearby, making a welcoming interrupt at the tables and offering it graciously to others. There was a complaining sign in his innocent eyes when sandy refused to take it. It was a guilt no one could afford to live with. So the packet was on our table the next moment. I was sure, if it was me I would have got a finger or a slap with those f* words. Just because I don't reflect the same innocence in my actions; or may be they cann't figure out the meaning behind it. For a child, it's always an excuse 'coz he doesn't have a meaning for his actions in our contexts and that's what we call innocence. Anway I am one among those and I like it.
Life doesn't need to mean something. All it needs is to be.

Breaking day

The promise to go to gym was postponed for another tomorrow just because I got up late (as usual). The fire alarm yelled at me just 'coz I liked a hot shower today. Left the laundry last night, so the wrinkles were wooing with my clothes. An important document got filed in lost list. This is how my day started.

But there is more to it. Outlook wasn't up till lunch time. Desk phone was dead with an important voice mail sitting in it. Build is broken since last night. The little consolation I found so far were in the crisp of Scott's home made cookies. Still not in mood to work. Weather is good, its started getting cold here. May be I'll just sit and do some thinking work today. Btw I watched 'Die Hard 3' yesterday, and liked the game puzzles Simon was throwing at Macklane and the Smartian guy. May be if I get some free time, I'll post them here.

Aish

  

Raining...

It's raining since morning, or should I say since last night. San Jose and rain, a rare combination. I got my my jacket and jeans muddy but cycling was fun anyway. I am missing the tapri chai and bhajia. Listening to "Mai koi aisa geet gaon, ki aarzoo jagaaon - agar tum kahon"

Pleasure and Pain

Wondering in the dusk hour
should I go or grapes are sour
all prepared still scared

I want this to happen for a long time
the thought is alluring me like an old wine
so here I am standing in front of the room
finally decided to make my move

slooooooooooowly I open the door
and walk in without making a row
no one there, besides me and she
I put on some music to ease the situation
and take out my sweater in anticipation..

I know it's time now,
We start off slow
Feeling good We pick up speed
Our bodies move in perfect symmetry
My temperature rising,
My heart begins to beat rapidly
My pulse starts to race
Feeling lightheaded
My muscles burn

There’s no stopping now.

Sweat glistening on my aching body
Steady motion of my limbs
Deep breaths
carry on till the music last
or better till the body blasts

Finally finished, a deep sigh.
Motionless, Eyes closed.
Exhausted, Satisfied.

I abolish the signs,
drops of me lying on her
we both stand in silence
I put on my sweater.
Without uttering a word
I walk out of the room

- A close encounter of pleasure and pain. This was when I went to run on 'The Treadmill' in Mansion Groove Gym. BTW I like the way you think :)

Game to ponder...

You do whatever produces the optimal final outcome for you - First rule of game theory.

"Are we playing a game?"
But ofcourse we are. I make a decision that influences your decision and vice versa. Our actions are interdependent. It's a game. Everything in life where it happens is a game.

"But what is this about?"
It's between you and some fictitious person(him) who is nothing but rational. You have a choice: cooperate or defect. If both of you cooperate, you each get five hundred dollars. If both of you defect, you each get one hundred dollars. However if one defects and the other cooperates, the bad guy gets one thousand dollars and the nice guy gets nothing. Standard Prisoner's Dilemenma. BTW you will be playing the game four times.

Ok. let's start with you. Make a choice.

Since I assume that you and your fictitious opponent are equally rational, so I can give you access to what he thinks rationally.

Opponent's Decision context - Rational
Sensory context - seeking the collaboration in your eyes that was forbidden otherwise.
His decision - (You don't know)
Your decision - (?)

so we can go for the next round. Just a slight change..we will play this game only one more time.

Opponent's decision context - Rational
His decision - (You don't know)
Your decision (?)

Pondering Thoughts - Four times changed everything. Repetition gave an opportunity to prove trust. Repetition makes us long-term allies, not one-off unknowns. Repetition gave maximum joint gains through cooperation of $4000: so much more that $800 availale through defection. But what if this suddenly goes off. Be honest and try thinking what will be your stand for these two situations, considering yourself a rational person, and see how do you apply it in your relationships.

Bigsur

"The happiness is along the journey, not at the end of the road."
What more I can say about today's drive to Bigsur. The so called 'destination' was never achieved, but who cares as long as we had fun. Well....may be someone who chose it. But missing 'Julia'(Pfeiffer Burns State Park), wasn't expected from him at all. The joy of the morning was to drive on freeway, may be because it was my one of the first time. California Highway 1 is the most scenic route on west coast. That means an opportunity to see some good points, click some good pictures. We had lunch in a forest, saw a sea-lion eating fish, get soaked in the tide while searching for shells. Isha did some stunts with her stone climbing. But the real adventure was Sumi getting trapped in an unknown trail. I hope Amtbh is not that much upset with his rucksack. With a promise to come again for left unachieved, we returned enjoying the music and the cappuccino on our way back.