My first day...

We were already 5 minutes late. The class was full packed. No chair left without a butt. Caught before the crime was the first thought that crossed my mind. Nevertheless spirits were high and so I entered with pride and marched towards one of the front corners. As soon as I put cappuccino on the table by my side, I felt a sense of belonging, an urge to be there.

Those who are still wondering, this was my first day at CSU Hayward school for an MBA program. And yes, it was unofficial. But now when I am there, let me share wht did I experience. The very first thing I liked was the intellectual smile shining behind the gray beard of Prof. Camateros, Spyros. By now you should guess that the crowd was a bit disappointing. No cross-legs..no...u know. His comments were humorous yet threathening to the extent of spice in the vegetable. In a matter of minute, I was sitting just in front of him preparing myself for the unwanted roll-call, which went smooth by. Now the teaching part. Linear Programming techniques - Simplex, Graphics, Algebra, and he was going thru them one by one..invalidating them against his favoritee Excel. He took a simple practical problem and demonstrated the various techniques to arrive at the optimal solution. Hey wait, this was something I had done in my 9th standard..the graphics...the maths. Only thing they didn't tell me was why the hack I am doing it. Now I know, that was most important of all. The CONTEXT. The applicability of the technology. And that's what the education system here seem to be good at. At times the over-explanation of seemingly simple steps seemed to make mockery of my so called intellect, but most his straightforward, humor and expertise made the somewhat boring lecture like a breeze. Overall the joy of attending the class was more than the learnings I got. It was like dream come true trailer. Thanks to Anl for giving me this opportunity. May his carpool grow more and more.

Mind Game

One way to look at an emotion is as the product of any discrepancy between our expectation and actuality. That is why happiness, love and delight wear off, even if the stimuli that initially caused them are still present. We start to expect what we are getting. When everything happens perfectly in alignment with our expectations(as opposed to our hopes, which may be fulfilled against our expectation, causing happiness) then there is no emotion, except perhaps boredom. To me, this is the most profoundly depressing conclusion, but at least it starts to provide an evolutionary explanation for some of the emotions: they are the body's way of alerting us to an unexpected situation or event.
- excerpt from 'Mind Game' by Hector Macdonanld.

Babyish Thrill

Not before the dusk settles,
while walking along the shore,
I watch how the life battles.
Four diminutive birds in quest of their meals,
with a constant pattern of advance and retreat,
marching their feet like a happy child,
dancing in tune with the tides.
how blissful the life is,
if I see it from their eyes.

Spirits of life as eyewitnessed in Halfmoon bay by me and binod, on 18 September 2004.

Hours of solitude

Back home early. My roomy not there. Dinner done. TV bored. No one on chat. No urgency to take care. Void of spirit to continue with 'Mind Game'. So what to do? What to do in these very hours of confinement. Mind stops thinking. Void fills the vaccum. It's like for these hours I don't like to exist anymore. Now the mind strives for its identity. I am observing and simply trying to pen down what all tricks it's implying on me to bring me back into action -
Its making me nostalgic, reminding me that I have a home and I am far away from it.
Sounds standard and most effective. I let it go. See what next.
Oh gosh, lot of pending things to take care at work and at home. Am I a fool to waste time thinkn on these absurds?
hmm, may be I am..atleast for the time being.
Am I not hungry...? How about trying a new recipe today..and for now a ginger tea.
Thanks but no thanks.
I haven't gone for jog for long. No gym, no play. I know I m not in mood...but atleast a stroll?
I want to go, but I don't want to go.
Hey bind's gallary was awesome, shouldn't I explore some photographic features in my camera.
Will do but not now.
How about the site porting I wanted to do..
I haven't yet started anything on my SCEA 2..
Yet to get a licence..
Haven't callled up a lot of folks here and there..
I haven't written a blog for so many days..
What have I thought abt my plans for settlement..
...
...
..
Someone trying on my lock, door opens. My roomy comes in.
Hey hi..eeeeeee. How was your day.
blah..blah...blah...
Me again back to my typing pad, trying to spin back my web of thoughts.
...I know its Amtbh this time, came to pickup dvd.
V indulge in talks, me forgets this intellectual fight with mind.
...and the life goes on.

Who won finally, I dunno. And on whose side am I, I am yet to know.

NY vs Mumbai

Ever wonder why our mind loves wandering in past so much. The first thing it does on seeing something new is to relate it to something old. And based on that it decides whether the present is enjoyable or not. May be that's how it survives. So how was NY, if someone asks me, the first thing in my mind will come Mumbai. No difference between 'Metero' and 'Subway' except the name change & little bit more crowd in former. Ground zero in reality has now nothing to offer except memories. Executives with BMW and Mercedes have to commute by public transport 'coz they cann't afford for parking. This reminds me of the story where a famous millionarie goes to a bank in manhatten to borrow 1000$ and surrenders his car as a security, only to return the money back after 15 days. You can guess, for what. The interesting part of the whole trip was to sketch myself. Sitting in a pose for what seems to be hour looking in the eyes of artist with a hope and 'make me interesting' kind-a plead. I was expecting a cartoon face, but he came up with something altogether different. Anyway whatever it was, looking better than me, so I was happy :) The other thing that I enjoyed was photography, which includes a shoot with Prez Bush and Clinton of all of us. Shooting @ statue of liberty was equally refreshing and worth for all the waits to get there. Had I not gone to LasVegas before, I might have given a 'wow' to times square. But now it was looking more like a hanging out place, and instantly resemble to me like MG road@banglore I went with chin2. Actually I enjoyed MG road much more than times square. Llt was missin Aj a lot, while chin3 were busy in their own world. That left me & Trn most of the time wondering over life and our solitude.